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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?